Writing from my Microsoft word on my mac book pro is the way, I will write my drafts. Then I will paste into my blogs and my journals. The hardest challenge is working with the font I selected, “chalkboard”.
The real reason why I started blogging was because I have hard time blogging. What I mean is that my writings skills were never to standards with the Canadian education system. Because of my disability at school, it was hard to make friends. The boys of the school were in only ones that wanted to talk to me. They didn’t mind hanging out with me. It felt safe with my boy friends. It was the teachers fault, why I played alone on the schoolyard, I thought to myself.
At times, I would hope the school bell would not ring or at times I would want it to ring so I can breathe some fresh air and get away from it all.
I was lucky to have live so close to my elementary school. I was only about 1 min away and able to ran home fast enough for lunch and was able to wait last minute to ran back to school in time for class.
It doesn’t matter what else happened to me at that time. I am taking this blog as my greatest challenge. You must read this blog to keeping understanding what I go through, understand why things happen. I won’t be able to tell you why it does, you must draw your own conclusions. Now, you should understand why letting go is so hard and an amazing opportunity to prove yourself wrong and find peace within you. I think of it as competition in a sports game. Image your on the same team as the girls in your class that don’t play with you at reassess time. It is like you are competing with yourself, always proving that you can do whatever you want only in gym class or after school activities. The gym class was the only world to show the classmates that I have strength mentally to be able to try hard enough to score any points and that it should mean something. I might of showed that I didn't care about school or my homework... I did care. Just that no-one cared enough to pay attention to me.
I owe everything that has happened to me to everyone who knows me. I say, “Thank you” for making learn from my mistakes. Without you, there was no room for improvements. Because of you I am a better person.
Letting go is one of biggest challenge.
Let me introduce myself.
Hi my name is “Shirley”.
I was born in Toronto and lived here all my life.
My parents came from Colombia, Medellin to live here and have children and
help the rest of the family to come here to have a better life.
I learned English as a second language.
It was very hard to do anything on my own.
I almost gave up tonight from writing this entry.
I was in the mood for writing. I listened to myself and I know I had to do this.
I took this opportunity as letting go of I can't write anything interesting. I will repeat writing is hard for me.
I will live my life hopefully of not believing I can’t write. Instead I know I can do this.
Changing my mind set to I know I can do this.... I know I can.... I will believe I know I won’t ignore the problem no matter how long it takes I won't give up.
Taking my time and typing slow and reading my thoughts out loud in my mind is a very good practice. I taught myself to do everything on my own. Image a life without teachers or friends and still have a good heart to never wanting to harm anyone and always lending a helping hand.
Letting go is a very interesting topic for me. I am thinking at this moment, right now as I paused for a second, I might be creating a new blog and calling it “Me and the world of Notice Me Jeans”. Owing my own business of online retail selling butt-lifting jeans is very hard. Again alone and trying my best to make it. People around me are very negative. Only a few selected ones are the only ones, I pay attention to. Everyone else including some family members or old friends don’t have my undivided attention. They are no longer part me and my world of Notice Me Jeans in my business world. Surround yourself with positive energy and take it one step at a time to create positive affect in your life.
Shirley
Notice Me Jeans
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